How to Stop Overthinking: 9 Ways Back to Your Heart

Why do I overthink so much?

Well, the mind is reaching for something it doesn't have: certainty.

The mind is a beautiful tool. It plans the trip, finds the words, remembers where you left your keys. And you are not your mind. You are the I AM, and the mind is a tool like the body.

A loop starts when the mind is asked to do what only Life can do: guarantee how things turn out. You read their message again, looking for clues in the punctuation. A period starts to look unfriendly. By now you've had quite a conversation with someone who only sent you six words.

Underneath most overthinking there's fear. And fear comes from believing we're the ones in control of life, not God. So the mind works overtime on something that was never its job.

Most loops take one of four shapes:

• The replay: "Why did I say that?"
• The rehearsal: "What if it goes badly?"
• The mind-read: "What did they mean by that?"
• The reopened decision: "What if the other choice was better?"

Each one is the mind reaching for certainty. And each one softens the moment you notice the one who is aware of it.

You are not your thoughts

My thoughts are not mine to own. I can watch them come and choose which ones get my attention.

Awareness only ever experiences Now. The past and the future are concepts of the mind, and every loop happens in one of the two: what already happened, or what might happen tomorrow.

The I AM opens a space between trigger and response, and in that space I get to choose. That space is where every practice below begins.

If you've already tasted this peace and watched it fade, my first teaching, After Spiritual Awakening: What's Next?, is for you too.

9 practices to stop overthinking

You're welcome to keep the ones that speak to you. One practice you live is worth more than nine you read.

1. The 5-Second Shift: the moment you notice the loop.
2. Drop the story, feel the feeling: when you're reading meaning into a message or a silence.
3. Your Emotional GPS: when a strong feeling is feeding the thoughts.
4. Find the belief beneath it: when the same fear keeps coming back.
5. Trade "why" for "what" and "how": when one question spins and spins.
6. Unconditional Peace: when you're waiting for something to change before you let yourself rest.
7. Ask your heart: when a decision keeps reopening.
8. When the mind is loud, and at night: when you're already deep in the spiral.
9. Go to Glow: when you'd love to feel the love and light within you again.

I The 5-Second Shift

The 5-Second Shift changes your state in a few seconds.

You take a deep breath while saying "I" in your mind. Then you take as long an exhale as you can, and say "AM".

I AM.

Then, for at least 5 seconds, you simply feel that you exist. Nothing to think about, nothing to fix. Just your awareness, aware of itself. In essence, just be!

Could you overthink if you didn't exist? Could you worry, replay or rehearse? Of course not. Your being comes before every thought. So when you rest in it, even for 5 seconds, the loop has nothing to hold on to.

And you can't fail at it. You're already being, and you can't not be.

I invite you to do at least 9 a day. That's one minute in total (I promise you have a minute). At first a few alarms help, or I AM written on post-its next to your mirror, your computer, the kitchen sink.

II Drop the story, feel the feeling

Drop the story, feel the feeling. It's one of the fastest ways out of the mind-read.

First, what happened, the way a camera would see it: "I sent a message this morning. No reply yet."

Then, the story the mind adds: "They're pulling away. I did something wrong."

The first is a fact. The second is a story, and it's the story that hurts.

So you let the story go and feel what's left in the body. A tight chest. A knot in the stomach. To let go, you tune into the sensations, not the emotions. You can let them be there. Allowing a feeling to be there is what lets it leave.

III Your Emotional GPS

Your Emotional GPS shows you the way back. And let me tell you a little secret.

Instead of asking whether a thought is true, you can ask how it feels. That feeling is your inner GPS, pointing toward your destiny.

If a thought makes you feel expansive and more alive, it's truth. If it brings misery or constriction, it's a lie.

So a thought that feels tight is a message for you. Emotions are messengers, and you get to read the message.

IV Find the belief beneath it

When the same fear keeps coming back in different clothes, there's usually one belief underneath.

Emotions don't come from circumstances. They come from my beliefs about circumstances. To find the belief behind a feeling, I ask: what belief would make me feel this way?

The answer often sounds like this: "If someone is upset with me, I'll lose their love."

Every limiting belief was a part of me doing its best to protect me. So there's nothing to fight. You deny the false belief, never the emotion, and then you affirm the truth:

I can never be unloved. Love is the very source of life, and I am alive.

And as you deny the old belief, meaning it matters more than the words.

V Trade "why" for "what" and "how"

This one is small, and pretty wild.

"Why" just spins in circles. So you trade it for "what" and "how".

"Why did they say that?" becomes: what do I know right now, and how do I want to answer?

And when something stings, I ask: what is the gift here, and how can I show love to myself right now?

When the mind says "I don't know", you can answer: "I have yet to find out."

VI Unconditional Peace

I invite you to finish this sentence, as honestly as you can: "I'll allow myself to be at peace when..."

When they reply. When the money arrives. When I'm sure I made the right choice.

That's the condition you've placed on your peace.

Now you can take a 5-Second Shift, right here, while that condition is still unmet. Peace isn't somewhere ahead after fixing problems. It is already here when I return to I AM.

I can have peace and love without a reason, because the reason is my very being. Nothing is missing for me to be at peace. What blocks peace needs removing, not adding.

Then you look at what's truly yours to do: an apology, a call, a clear no. You do it, or you put it in your calendar. And the rest, you allow. Living from the heart means allowing what is to be what it is.

VII Ask your heart

For the decision that keeps reopening, your heart already knows. Your heart always knows the right way to go. You can trust your heart.

If your heart's answer carries judgment, you can check whether it's truly your heart or a belief to let go.

Doubt is a mind killer. Your own heart is the one to trust. Then you take the next small step, and let life show you the rest.

VIII When the mind is loud, and at night

When you're already deep in the spiral, the body is the way back. The senses only work in the present, so focusing on them brings you into the now.

You can't breathe in the past or the future, so the breath always brings you back to now.

And every time you do this, it gets easier. Every time I turn down the loud speaker, the knob gets more sensitive. The I AM power grows with use.

At night, when you can't sleep

If a thought keeps you up, you can write it on a piece of paper by the bed, with a time to look at it tomorrow. The page can hold it while you rest.

Then you see the day softly and say: I let go of this. I forgive. It was perfect. It is done.

I become light when I stop carrying time: what already happened and what might happen tomorrow.

IX Go to Glow

Go to Glow brings you home to the love within you.

You can bring your attention to the center of your chest and breathe out slowly. The heart is easiest to expand outward on the exhale, when the lungs are empty.

Then you smile, and let the smile reach inside your heart until your heart is smiling too.

I can turn up the light of my heart, like turning up a dimmer dial. A little brighter with each breath, until the glow fills your chest, your hands, your face.

And when I connect to the glow, I ask the light what it wants to do, rather than controlling it. For a busy mind, that's pure rest.

I don't need to become the light. I already am it, and always have been.

The same message, a different evening

Here's how it can look on an ordinary evening.

Someone you love sends: "Can we talk tomorrow?"

Your stomach tightens. Before you even know what it's about, the mind is drafting your defense.

So you put the phone down. A deep breath, "I". A long exhale, "AM".

You drop the story ("They're upset. I ruined something.") and feel the knot in your stomach, and let it be there.

You find the belief beneath it: "If someone's upset with me, it's my job to fix it tonight." And you see it for what it is, a part of you doing its best to protect you.

You ask your heart, and your heart answers simply: "Of course. What time works for you?"

You send it. You put the phone down. And dinner tastes like dinner again.

Wheeeew.

A simple 7-day rhythm

If you'd love a rhythm, here's one week:

• Day 1: the 5-Second Shift, at least 9 times.
• Day 2: drop the story, feel the feeling, once, with something small.
• Day 3: your Emotional GPS, noticing which thoughts feel open and which feel tight.
• Day 4: find one belief beneath a loop, and affirm the truth.
• Day 5: trade every "why" for "what" and "how", and practice Unconditional Peace once.
• Day 6: ask your heart about one decision, and take one small step.
• Day 7: Go to Glow for a few minutes, morning and night.

Knowing the shift and living from it are two different things. Living from it takes repetition. And if you miss a day, the key is to not beat yourself up. It's all good.

If you'd love my voice beside you in the morning, Wake Up in Heaven, my free meditation, is waiting on the home page.

Over the days, simple things start to shift. The conversation you used to dread feels lighter. A decision that had you spinning for days becomes clear. You wake up, and your first thought is gratitude instead of a problem to solve.

Words to return to

You can choose one that speaks to you, read it slowly, and leave a little space to experience it.

• I AM here, aware of this moment.
• I and my Source are One.
• Love includes me.
• My feelings deserve care, and I can examine the story beneath them.
• I can let another person tell me what they mean.
• Peace is available while this remains unfinished.
• I can learn from the past and choose from here.
• I receive support as I take responsibility for my part.
• My light has a place in this world.
• I allow Heaven to move through the way I live today.